two important things.
i get a lot of different responses to the statement, "i play rugby." mostly, "why?!!??!"


when you are warming up with your team on one side of the pitch, and the other team arrives...and you're kind of checking out their can tell who the backs are- the skinny tall girls, and you can tell who's in the pack...the big, solid, scary looking girls. and you get these butterflies that you might get before any other sort of game - lacrosse, or field hockey, or a swim meet. however, it's slightly different because you know that in 20 minutes, the girls that you're looking at are going to be the ones who are slamming your body into the ground over and over... and then the game starts, and your butterflies pretty much fly away because really all you can concentrate on is the ball, and calculating your moves and every step in your mind. the defense doesn't matter, when you have the ball, you dictate the play. rugby can best be defined as "elegant violence". it may not look like it from the sidelines, but that's truly what it is. it might just look like a huge jumble of people, everyone slashing around and ripping people down by their jerseys...but really, its all strategy. there are times to not tackle, there are times to tackle HARD and there are times to just play dirty. that is just a part of rugby. it's not bad any rugby book, and i can gaurantee they will tell you that a little foul play is all a part of the game. but, when you're sprinting down the field, dodging large girls and you're holding onto the ball with all you've got, and someone picks you high up in the air and turns you around to slam you on the ground, that fourth of a second spent in the air is what it's all about. not knowing where you'll land exactly, worrying about your knee, worrying about setting the ball to your teammates in the correct spot. and then you come crashing down, your head hits the ground and you set the ball and quickly scurry out of the ruck that is beginning to form over the ball. as you stand up, you're dizzy and already know exactly where the next huge bruise will be seen the next day, but your mind is elsewhere and you're already running back to your spot to do it all over again.

that is why i play rugby.

i am so glad that games have started up again. i love that i have something to get me through the weekdays!!

i'm so sore, so bruised, and so hungover, but that is how my sundays will be spent for the next 10 weeks, and i would have it NO other way.


i have to be up in 4 hours.
there are so many unfair things in this world, that i wish i could change. it's i am always complaining about what i wish i could change or help, but do i ever actually change or help anything? no. i just run around slamming dogs tails in doors and eating too much.

what a weird day. i slept really late, i think thats why. but today, i really had a lot of fun with theresa's sister jenny. i dont know why, but there is just something amazing about her that makes me so happy. i would sit all day with her if she'd let me, and watch her fastforward and rewind theresa's old gymnastics videos, or videos of whatever. maria told me tonight that she doesn't take to strangers very well, which i would expect. i think she let me sit with her for that long because i kept bringing her cookies ;) and...for some reason, i always get the biggest urge to hug her goodbye...just, i feel like when i hug people i am sending them so much love, and its so hard for me to grasp that a hug from me would probably make her EXTREMELY uncomfortable/angry/upset. i wonder if she remembers me...probably not, because i'm not at theresa's very often, and i'm not sure what jen remembers and what she doesn't. i guess no one really knows exactly, since her tendencies are pretty much undiagnosed to a certain disorder/problem. but that's just the's not a problem. jen seems to be very content, she knows how to make herself happy and in my opinion, from what i've seen, she's smart. she remembers things, like exactly what time every day the tv church comes on, and what channel. jen makes me want to work with kids with disabilities, but i want to do so many things when i grow up, i'm sad that i can't do them all.

but i figure... i have more than 70 years ahead of me. that's a long time to do whatever i want, and help whoever i want, and love whoever i want. even if they don't love me back.

time for sleep.

hey ben karel,

this is for YOUCollapse )

(no subject)
this is the first time in one whole week that i've been in a room by myself, while awake.

i dont like it.

(no subject)

Kane, Liam James, age 5 of Boothwyn PA. Passed at home with his family at his side on November 19, 2005 after a 19 month heroic battle with pediatric cancer. Cherished Son of Kevin J. & Andrea J. Kane (nee) Keahey & beloved baby sister, Alberta "Alli", also survived by his Paternal Grandmother & Step Grandfather Margaret & David Eastburn (Mom-mom & Pop-pop) of Aston, PA, his Maternal Grandparents, James & Alberta Keahey Jr., (Grandpop & Grandmom) of Millsboro, DE, his Paternal Step Grandmother, Jeanne Kane (Memere) of Mullica Hill, NJ, his Uncle Billy & Aunt Maria Kane of Ason, PA, his Godfather/Uncle Dan & Aunt Dinae Kane of Fairfax, DE, his Uncle Brandon & Aunt Toby Kane of Ithaca, NY, his Aunt Colleen Kane & Mike Mash of Philadelphia, PA, his Uncle Tom & Aunt Rachel Kane of West Deptford, NJ, his Aunt Sand & Uncle Bob Johnson of Chadds Ford, PA, his Uncle Jimmy & Aunt Rose Keahey of Harrodsburgh, KY, his Godmother/Aunt Karen & Uncle John Grozak of Redlands, CA, his Aunt Diana & Uncle Robert Cagle of Danville, KY & also his 18 cousins. Liam is predeceased in death by his late Paternal Grandfather, William Kane (Pepere). Liam attended St. David's Episcopal Day School in Wilmington, DE, his most favorite things were the Power Rangers, Dinosaurs, coloring, pretzels, playing baseball and playing with his friends & cousins. Relatives & Friends may call Tuesday Evening, 4-8PM at the Pagano Funeral Home, 3711 Foulk Rd. Bethel Twp., PA. A Celebration of His Life Mass will be held on Sunday, 2:00PM at St. David's Episcopal Church, 2320 Grubb Rd. Wilmington, DE, followed by Interment at St. David's Episcopal Church Memorial Garden. Donations in Liam's memory may be made to Liam James Kane Fund, c/o Bank of America, Valley Forge Market Place, 670 Trooper Road, West Norriton, PA 19403, proceeds will be used to support Neuroblastoma Pediatric Cancer Research.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY ... don't let it get away
there are a million things i could type in this post tonight, but i think that sara's away message, and the pictures tell the story just fine...


bonejangles09 [6:27 PM]:
Going to Virgina: $13 there and $10 back
Buying Mini wheats and Gum in Bulk: $12ish
Being Spontaneous, running out of money, seeing my roomies best friend, seeing what was probably the oldest gas station in the world, running over what looked like a dead elephant, and getting a total of 3hrs of sleep: priceless...

love you all!
stay safe


listen up guys...i'm not sure how many of you guys are on liam's e-mailing list, where we get important updates from his family, but i got an email today and guess what, they're selling liam bracelets!!

they're $5 a piece, and the entire profit goes to the Kane family, straight to them. the bands are orangy/red and say FAITH HOPE COURAGE LIAM. here's a picture:

i wish so badly that i was in wilmington so that i could help coordinate this, but oh well. if you want to buy a bracelet, let me know and maybe we can just make one huge order for kelsey to take over to the pick-up spot. or something. maybe my mom.

i haven't taken my livestrong off for a single second since i put it on except for SPORTS. after our rugby game on saturday, when i got off the field and went to the urgent care the whole walk to the car while suzi was holding ice on my face i was yelling at someone to get my livestrong bracelet from cowboy dan (who takes photographs our games...and he holds the jewelry) and finally someone ran and got it and brought it to me so i could put it back on.

so, you should ALL be awesome people, and order FAITH HOPE COURAGE LIAM bracelets to help support the kane family. the money will help them so much, they've had to pay for countless plane flights and hotel stays, not to mention all of the procedures and medicines that insurance may not cover (ever seen "john q" ? )

liam is fighting so hard. show that you support his battle with this awful cancer.

walk down that lonesome road, all by yourself...
i just want to take this moment to say (if for some reason i never have before...)

if any single one of you reading this EVER has a problem...or you're in a situation and you don't know what to do, or you're worried, or scared, or sad, or even if you're so happy you can't contain yourself,


i will always listen. every single word you have to say, no matter how long you talk or what you are talking about. i don't judge, i don't care about anything. just please know that i am always, always here for anyone...and my phone is always with me, esp. now that i'm at college and i get service in my "bedroom"...cause i never did at home.

i love you guys.

so...with that said...let's see- what did i do today. i woke up and went to breakfast with alva. i love our breakfast days because we always get up at the same time, i go down the 2 flights of stairs to his room and we walk to the caf together. we always sit in the tv room and watch regis and kelly on the big screen tv and eat our pancakes or cereal. then we walk to african american studies, and we have the best talks all along the way :) well, we took our first exam in that class was RIDICULOUSLY easy. sometimes ( offense...) but like, the program is "under review" right now, because its a new program, and i think that they are kinda making the classes kind of easy so that people will get good grades so that the university will continue the program. i mean honestly, i've had 3 exams so far in some of my classes, and this was the first one for AFS...and i haven't had a single assignment for the class at all. it's just so easy...and fun haha. then alva and i walked to the library. i checked out 2 movies - the movie "crash" which i LOOVE, we watched it in african american studies, and i wanted to see it again. i HIGHLY recommend it to everyone, its a really awesome movie. i also rented a documentary called "ABC Africa" which is about orphanages in africa, and all these kids that are left parentless because of HIV/AIDS. i came back to my dorm b/c i had a 3 hour or so break until my next class. so i settled in to watch the documentary...of course i bawled like a baby, i knew i would. but it was a really awesome movie, the kids were so cute :)

then i went to take my drama appreciation exam (i know, a lot of exams, right?!) it was on 'a streetcar named desire' and i got a 100 (we went over the answers in class). so that was good, then i went to rugby practice. i did everything but the tackling drills and the scrimmage, elliott doesnt want me further injuring myself (plus my meds were kinda wearing off at that point).

tonight has been kind of a crazy night, me and sara have been running all over the place visiting people and hanging out in the kitchen, but i'm about to go study for ANOTHER exam i have tomorrow (EWW im getting tired of these exams!)

but first, here's a picture...i'm not sure if you've ever seen it. but it's called "Wanting A Meal" and it won the 1994 Pulitzer Prize. Kevin Carter was the photographer, and everything in the box underneath the picture is completely factual. This photo was run in TIME magazine in 1994, with the box underneath. i'm putting it behind a cut because i don't know the dimensions to resize it right now.

Wanting A MealCollapse )

keep praying for liam everyone, because it's making a difference. thank you so much.

miss you guys!!

(no subject)
1. i am happy to be home.
2. i am sad because they got horrible news about liam.
3. i am disappointed in some people.
4. i really miss rachel.
5. i had fun at the rally.
6. i love kristy b.
7. i am exhausted right now and ready to sleep in MY bed.
8. i think my mom is truly my best friend.
9. i was worried last night about someone.
10. i was extremely happy last night that someone stayed in DE an extra day.

i'll elaborate on most of this later, when i have more energy, or when i'm bored...maybe at the airport on tuesday? we'll see.

much love for meredith nelles,

no body's laughing now, but you could always make me laugh outloud
my day is going AMAZING so far!!

i got my second sociology exam back, and i got an A...which i really wasn't expecting. i was unsure about a few of the multiple choice, however i did feel like i nailed the essay. and when i got my test back, i did get full credit on the essay, and out of 40 multiple choice questions, i only got 3 wrong!! i am amazed with myself because i can clearly remember back to like, ap psychology, and how i used to butcher the multiple choice's amazing how when you put your head to studying you can actually achieve grades you want!!

and then i went to english, and we just read poems outloud that we found that we liked. i read a poem from a book of slam poetry, it was kind of intense. but we had fun. and then before we left, my prof told us about our next project. guess what we're doing...we're creating a SOUNDTRACK FOR OUR LIFE!!!!! how cool is that? how HARD does that sound??!!! i can see myself now, going through every single song on my computer/in my cd case...oh man this could get really intense haha. but seriously, how hard would that be?!

i'm excited for english class got cancelled and i'm skipping my sociology class (i don't really want to, but kristy sounds like she wants to get into MD as early as possible, and i haven't missed a single class yet, so i guess it'll be okay.) but so she's picking me up early, and we'll make the long drive...i hope she brings the dogs because cori makes me SO happy. then the rally, i can't's going to be so weird with so many jr. staff, but i'm really excited. {{rach...i wish you could be there :) klr.}}

that's about it. please say a prayer for liam, his daddy is struggling right now. and he could always use a few extra prayers. thank you guys.

time for buddhism.

ps. MEREDITH LEIGH NELLES!!! our tnc continues tonight!!!! and i am so, so excited. i can't wait, and i wish so badly that we were together for this, however... i did figure out that the wednesday before thanksgiving, we'll be able to watch it together like usual. AHHH! get excited!! i'll call you later tonight :D


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