when i search my heart it's you i find.

this picture basically sums up my entire life. i can use only the same caption. beautiful dog. beautiful scenery. beautiful life.

NOW it's complete. :)

guess what i got today!!

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first day of schoooool!
classes begin today. i'm a sophomore, woo hoo.

my schedule is cool this semester.

mondays: bio and sign II

tuesdays: english and audiology

wednesdays: bio lab, bio, and sign II

thursdays: english, audiology, intro to the deaf world

fridays: bio

fridays are going to be good because i just have bio from 12-12:50.

rugby starts on the 22nd, so a week from tomorrow. i'm so ready for that. today is fall kickoff, where everyone lines up their tables on college avenue and tries to recruit for their club or sport. so we got a bangin spot, and we have a power hookup so that we can play our rugby dvd. we need to recruit so many girls, we lost so many last year!

i'm still working, but nowhere near as much. i have a dinner shift every few days, which is cool because i love being there, even if it does wear me out terribly.

so, i am just as guilty of this as everyone else in the world...but i was thinking this morning, why do we remember anniversaries of bad things happening? we tend to count down right to the days of when awful things have happened in our lives - atleast i do. but, if we do that, why don't we do the same for amazing things that have happened? for instance, today is 39 years and 1 month since the beatles released the single All You Need is Love. today is 2 years and 14 days since i made jr. staff. today is also 16 years, 6 months, and 3 days since nelson mandela was released from his cell in a south african prison. amazing things, these are...but do i count the months since they've happened? nope.

today is going to be a great day.

just something.
There is a woman who comes into our restaurant probably 5 of the 7 days of the week. Of those 5 days, she spends usually spends about 4 of them at the bar, all day long. I have noticed her since the day I began working there, as she’s hard to miss. Her hair is gray and curly, she is probably in her early fifties. She wears square glasses that make her head sort of seem like it’s a Christmas present, her hair the curly ribbons cascading off the top. I might also mention that almost every day that this woman comes into our restaurant, she is already quite tipsy. She then spends hours sitting at the bar by herself, drinking “GVG Martinis” and trying, through her drunkenness, to flirt with our bartender who, unbeknownst to her, has been gay all of his life. Usually once or twice during the week, she will decide to have a seat, usually outside on the courtyard. On one of these occasions, I sat her at 532, a table with a clear view of the door to the courtyard, since she claimed that a friend was joining her for lunch. This was at 3:45 in the afternoon, when our restaurant was dead and 15 minutes away from switching to the dinner menu. As I showed her to the table, I asked her the name of the woman joining her, so that I could direct her to the right table when she arrived. She “forgot” her friend’s name, and sputtered to give me an excuse as to why she didn’t know it. I assured her that it was okay, and asked for a description of the woman. She blankly looked at me, picked at her napkin on the table, and said in a wobbly voice, “she’s short and looks like most women.” I nodded my head slowly, turned around, and walked back to the front desk. I could only shake my head and think to myself how sad it must be to live the life of a woman who comes into a restaurant almost every day, gets drunk, and has to invent make-believe friends that are meeting her, so that the employees don’t begin to pity her. Her “friend” never showed up.

summertime and the wind is blowing outside...
it was good to go to chestertown for a few days. i always forget how much i love it there until i'm driving down 213, heading away from it. i don't know if i could ever live there, or raise children there, but i have this connection to it that i would never deny or hide. i love being there, i always have. it's where i was born and where my heart is =)

i only have a week left in DE, and then i won't be back til thanksgiving. i think that's a good thing...i love everyone, and will miss everyone, but greensboro is my home now, and i miss it so much! i can't wait to move into my new house, and see suzi and elliott's new house... i can't believe i wasn't there to be involved in the moving process. i miss the puppies, and i miss ell, and i miss sweet tea haha. i can't wait to start working at gvg, and save up all of my money.

oh, please say a little prayer or wish for jake raborn...he's at st. judes, and he was having a lot of respiratory problems, so he's on the ventilator and sedated. his aunt, "mo" updates on his site, and he's been pretty stable today. but he still needs a lot of help breathing. he's ssoooo cute..

here's his webaddress if you'd like to check it out. http://www.caringbridge.com/la/jakeowen/


my uncle scott, meghan's dad died on friday night. he had cancer...it was expected. i'm flying home tuesday morning for the funeral, and coming back wednesday morning. i'll be missing a final, two review sessions, and a class to turn in a huge paper, but the way i see it is, if anything, i mean ANYTHING happened to either of my parents, meghan would be there in a heartbeat for me, and so i am doing this for her and for my uncle scott, who was an amazing man with a ton of accomplishments. he was the county commissioner of kent county, maryland, and he raised two beautiful daughters.

the funeral is in church hill, on tuesday at 1pm, but we'll be going back to chestertown afterwards for the reception. i feel so awful, meghan will probably just go back to her apartment afterwards... my mom said she wants to stay and hang out with meghan and make sure that she'll be okay, she wants me to stay too. i hate when things like this happen.

the irony of this? i'm missing my Relay for Life of the American Cancer Society awards ceremony that I was invited to, to go to a funeral of an amazing father, husband, and man who died of cancer.

i swear to god, if cancer was an object, i would kick the shit out of it. i would mash it into the ground with my metal studded rugby cleats, i would take a baseball bat to it, and i would pour hot acid on it and run it through a paper shredder and i would stick a metal fork in it and put it in the microwave and i would hang it up at a shooting range so that it could be used for target practice and i would attach a heavy weight to it and cast it off a boat in ashark infested ocean...

summertime...and the livin's easy...
andrew straitman said something to me tonight that surprised the hell out of me.

andrew: "i heard a nasty rumor about you"
me: "oh, god...what was it..."
andrew: "are you really not living in delaware this summer?"
andrew: "is it true?"
me: "yeah, haha...i'm living down here this summer."
andrew: "we'll have to discuss this later, young lady! i'm very disappointed!"

it's just kind of funny...i know that maria will miss me haha, because she's definitely expressed that... but i hadn't really thought too much of being missed. i mean, sure my mom will miss me, but she already does miss me. but i mean, everyone will continue on with their normal summers, people will visit south street and don't need me to guide them there, everyone will be bored, mer won't get a job and she'll sleep all day, maria will live at the beach and hopefully visit matt a few times... it really won't be different at all without me, no one will even notice that i'm not there for all of our crazy LSC adventures.

but...really you have no idea how good it will feel for TO ONCE live in another state than him, even if it's only for 3 months. he surrounded me in delaware, he followed me to north carolina... and now is my chance at real freedom, and i cannot wait until i start my job and live with 3 amazing friends. yes, i will miss everyone SO MUCH. i already do...

but anyone is welcome to take a roadtrip down here ANYTIME, my house will have plenty of beds, and maybe you can help me pick out a paint color for my bedroom haha.

i just can't wait.


"I'm sick and tired of old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."
i love college, BUT... tonight all i feel like doing is having everyone over my house, all crammed down in the den on my pineapple couch and just hanging out for two hours. no one has to worry about their sports, their drama, their boys, their college lives... just one night of hanging out with every single person who i love, every single person in the LSC & Co. Even the boys :D

i'm having the time of my life, and i'm on my way out the door, but i just wanted to say that. i love you guys!!!

Legs for Liam!!
hey guys

i'm sure you've figured out from my away messages and things that i am doing the Relay for Life again this year... i decided to become the captain of my team, and we are Legs for Liam !! suzi came up with the idea that our theme will be angels, in honor of Liam, and we will all dress up as angels for the relay. i'm so excited. suzi said, "if we are liam's legs, then he can be our wings to carry us when we get tired."

so, i am asking everyone to PLEASE donate!! my goal is $2,000. and i'm up to about $665 right now. about half is in cash/checks, and the other half is online, at this awesome website that the american cancer society set up. it's just for me, so when you donate to my page it goes towards my goal. please make any donation you can, liam and i would appreciate it so much.

the american cancer society is trying to cure cancer, something that i'm sure has affected every single person in america atleast a tiny bit. please donate and help me reach my goal!!

here's a link to the site:

Legs for Liam!!

hopefully that link works. if it doesn't, follow these instructions:
go to www.kintera.org
click "search a local event" on the left hand side
type in "relay for life of UNCG"
click it, then find my name on the right hand side of the page
once you click my name, that is my site!

love to you all
happy valentines day
keep spreading love

soft light makes every sad sight seem alright..
head injuries are a lot more serious than i anticipated. after a stern, stern lecture from two different doctors, i still needed some convincing, and after talking to an ESS major who's been through 3 concussions and can no longer participate in her FAVORITE sport (soccer)... i finally sort of understand. even if you are completely 100% healed after a concussion, and you return to sports, you can suffer from something called "second impact syndrome"... which is basically, if you get hit even slightly, you can lose control of muscles and lose the ability for blood to flow into your brain. which can be fatal.

atleast my experiences are interesting!! i don't plan on sitting out for the rest of the season AT ALL. however, i think that the effects of this concussion is going to last for about a month. from what's been going on... saturday night they pumped enough fluids into me that i am still peeing every 10 minutes. haha. having been on the receiving end of a lot of different types of injuries (broken bones, etc.) i have never, ever gotten a concussion... so i'm really not used to the protocol of this. i'm really not sure what to do with myself... no practicing, etc. i'm a little nervous about swimming, but my teacher has the flu so we're not meeting right now...i'll worry about that one later. my latest problem is that my monologue has to be memorized by friday, and i mean i couldn't even remember what time my first class was today last night when i was setting my alarm. this is an interesting struggle!!

as interesting/funny it may be...deep down every single one of you has to know that this is killing me...i am not a sidelines kind of person. in all of our pictures from the game against duke on sat. i have my back to the camera, and even though elliott let me wear the last jersey - number 18, it still wasn't my jersey, or my size, or my number. i want my size small number 12 jersey with the permanent blood stains on the sleeve from my broken nose back as soon as possible, please. that would be great. :)

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until then, i'm cheering as loud as i can, and reading as much as i can about the position i will be taking over in just a few months. guilford college better watch out ;)

time for breakfast.
love kris


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